Sadness

How can the love for a pet run so deep?  How do we fall so fully in love with an animal that they seem almost human in their understanding of our moods? How does it happen that as our pet sits silently looking at us, we forget they can’t verbalize, and we want to say “what?  what do you want?”

Ms. Kitty has been part of our family since 2001.  She initially had to find her place among three pets at the beginning.  Then when our daughter took one of our cats to her home, Ms Kitty had only one, Baxter, to contend with.

Baxter was gentle and loved other cats . . . Ms Kitty not so much.  She didn’t start a fight, never was aggressive, but if Baxter happened to walk in her space, she would hiss and he learned to tiptoe around her.  Baxter was a lap sitter, and while he was with us, Ms. Kitty would just look at us with Baxter on one of our laps, and glare.  She never tried coming up to sit on the empty lap.  Just glared.

Likewise, when guests and friends came to visit, she would not hide like some cats would do, but instead stayed put (on a chair, by the fire on a rug, anywhere) and hissed vehemently.  “Stay away” was all she meant — she never attacked anyone unless they tried to ignore her hissing and pet her.  She just wanted distance from any human and any animal.

When we finally and sadly had to put Baxter down, Ms Kitty became a changed cat.  She immediately claimed our lap whenever we sat down, purring contentedly and falling asleep.  She still hissed at friends who dropped by, but for us she was the cuddliest cat we had ever had.  At night, she would come up beside me on the bed and snuggle into the crook of my arm and fall asleep. . .sometimes for the whole night!  She was a great friend and confidante.  I trust that she ever divulged a secret I whispered to her. . .

This week she has been leaving us . . . she is dying, slowly but peacefully, here at home.  My heart breaks as I see her growing thinner and struggling to walk on weakened limbs.  Sometime over the next week, she will take her last breath.  She will be gone but my grief will continue.  And she will be remembered always.  A precious, loved cat.  Always.